May 30, 2025
Whether you are the biological parent, adoptive parent, stepparent, grandparent, or “presumed parent” of a minor child in California, custody and visitation rights are based primarily on the best interest of the minor child. Since parties claiming custody or visitation rights to a minor child may well be at odds with one another, the following tips are worth noting: 1. Decision to Contest Custody Contested custody litigation can be inordinately time-consuming and expensive. More significantly, contested custody proceedings are almost invariably counterproductive to the child's best interests. Consequently, the policy preference is that custody and visitation issues be decided out of the courtroom in a nonadversary environment. Preliminarily, therefore, parties should make every effort to settle custody and visitation issues out of court; failing out-of-court settlement, an action for dissolution or paternity needs to be filed so that the Court can decide the matter. 2. Evaluating chances of success Parties who are adamant about contesting custody/visitation are advised of the basic parameters that will guide the court's decision: Maintenance of status quo: Generally, courts are reluctant to upset the custodial arrangement in existence prior to the hearing (particularly in regard to young children); quite the contrary, absent a showing of detriment to the children, courts will favor maintenance of the status quo . (E.g., if the children have been living with the mother since separation and pending the proceedings, chances are the “permanent” custody order will keep this arrangement intact.) Willingness to accommodate other parent's rights: A party determined to keep the children away from the other parent is likely to face an uphill battle. Unless the children's health, safety and welfare would be undermined, custody orders must be made to ensure the children “frequent and continuing contact” with both parents . Thus, except in cases of threatened child endangerment, a custody contest should not be pursued with the intent to thwart the children's relationship with the other parent. Child's preferences: Parents should also consider their children's wishes—particularly if they are teenagers. The court is likely to do the same and if the child is older (approaching 12 years old and older) and may give their preferences great weight. Domestic violence factor: A domestic violence perpetrator is unlikely to find a “level playing field” in seeking a custody award. As will be discussed, the law presumes such a parent is not suitable for a sole or joint custody award . 3. Improve your chance of success by documenting (prior emails, texts, posts, photos, videos) Recent past involvement with the minor child. Communication with the other parent which shows that you are trying to coparent and work together in the best interests of the child. Your involvement with the child’s school, sports, dance, healthcare, and other activities. Facilitation of contact between the child and the other parent. Parents who make it difficult for the other parent to have access to the child generally are not successful. 4. Coparenting, coparenting, coparenting Do not argue in front of the child. Do not talk about the case with the child. Do not talk bad about the other parent in front of the child. Do not make the child feel like they should not be having fun with the other parent. Do not put the child in the middle. As best you can, put aside all grown-up matters and develop a reasonable plan for custody and visitation which allows the child to feel good about being with either parent. The Court will absolutely look at the attempts to coparent. Even if you are unsuccessful in your attempts to coparent, documentation of your efforts and respectful communication will be an important factor if the Court needs to decide the matter. 5. Stay Actively Involved with your child, even during litigation While your case is pending, it is critical to continue (or commence) being present in your child’s life. During litigation, the Court will order the parties to a mandatory Family Court Services Mediation. Even if you have not been actively involved with child care or your child’s activities, your efforts to be involved and to stay involved will be strongly considered by the Mediator when the “FCS Mediation Report” with recommendations to the Court as to custody and visitation is completed. 6. Work with a skilled and knowledgeable Family Law Attorney The most important thing you can do to protect your custody rights is to hire an experienced family law attorney who understands the nuances of California custody law and is committed to advocating for fathers. At the Law Office of Michelle Paul, we help fathers throughout San Diego present compelling, child-focused custody cases reflecting their commitment and capabilities. We’ll help you gather the right evidence, navigate hearings, and negotiate parenting plans that work for your family. Final Thoughts As a father, you have just as much right to be a central figure in your child’s life as the other parent. With the right legal strategy, consistent involvement, and clear communication, you can build a strong custody case that puts your child’s well-being first and protects your bond for years to come.
